As you may already know, I'm a big fan of morning rituals, exercise, eating well, priming, meditation, self improvement, incantations and visualization techniques.
At various times, I've done every type of seminar, retreat, cleanse, challenge, workout, diet and fast you can imagine. I'm like a human guinea pig, but I like to consider myself a student of the modern age.
Realistically, to thrive in our complicated world, it's not what you know, it's who you know. It's not what you can learn, but how you can utilize it to solve problems.
All of these skills are moot, though, if you can't master your emotions on a consistent basis.
Emotional Mastery is the new gold standard for peak performance.
I'm fascinated with finding the best ways to do things, think about things and accomplish things, and I'm obsessed with helping others to do this as well.
I routinely help my clients, friends and even random strangers on the internet with their various struggles in managing their moods, emotions and building better habits, be it physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually, that will support them.
It's getting to the point now where between my clients, friends and people reaching out through the site, I'm getting way more messages than I can really respond to. It's overwhelming hearing about all the people who are struggling out there… I really wish I could do more to help. I believe that a true leader is a servant first and always, and I want to serve as many people as I possibly can.
So I got to thinking, and I think I need to make a resource where people can get the best of what I've learned over the last 6 years since my Dad died. That was the moment when I finally went on a journey of self discovery that lead me to where I'm at in my life now.
I've had the distinct honor and privilege to be coached and mentored by the best…People like Neil Strauss, Richard Branson, Tim Ferriss, John Romaniello, Dan Martell, Tony Robbins and more, including countless behind the scenes experts who don't ever seek the spotlight.
I want to share what's worked for me, as I understand how many people are hurting out there. They have no idea how to feel good consistently. Which I know is frustrating and makes life hard. I know you're out there, and I know how much it can suck. I've been there.
I also know that it doesn't have to be this way.
Why is this so important to me?
There was a seven year period in my life where I only cried three times. Once when my friend Corey passed away in college, and once when my Dad died. Then again when I finally mourned my Uncle in April 2013. That was the day I decided to quit drinking (numbing out all the time) and began the slow and frustrating journey toward healing.
Before all that, I can't even remember much at all.
Why? Well, I'll try to relate it in the best way I know how.
When I was young, as a coping mechanism, I rarely showed my emotions. This was due to some violence and bullying when I was really young. I learned to disassociate so I could deal with the pain.
We all deal with trauma in different ways, some bond to each other through it, some get excited by it, some avoid it, some dissociate from it, others still block it out of their memory entirely.
The issue with blocking bad things is you start to block the good as well, and when you're in a less than resourceful emotional state, it gets extremely hard to break yourself out of it. You literally can't emotionally connect with the good times in your life, and you're on the emotional hamster wheel, running faster and faster just to trigger enough dopamine to feel something, anything.
It gets worse and worse and you can finally get to a place of anhedonia, where nothing you do can even move the needle anymore. You simply can't feel good, no matter what you do.
Maybe you can relate? I'm sure we've all felt this way at some point.
I was taught to be a trauma blocker as an emotional survival mechanism.
This is not something I would recommend.
When I was 8, my Uncle Steve passed. I couldn't connect with my emotions then, and didn't even cry at his funeral. But I started acting out in school and feeling down a lot. Up until then, I had been a straight A student.
I was put on depression medication when I was 9 years old (yes, I know) by a doctor who was obviously, in hindsight, depressed himself, and after some scary side effects vowed never to go down that road again. He never even considered my diet, or other environmental inputs, when he made his diagnosis. In fact, we only spoke for 15 minutes.
As time went on, I kept repressing my emotions. I began having anxiety dreams, and eventually panic attacks.
As shitty as that all was to go through, and as much as I struggled with this in my teens and twenties, I thought I really had it licked. I was only partially right. It's still a journey. But the more I learn, the more I learn. You don't know what you don't know but I'm committed to finding answers, and have found a lot.
Nowadays, I have a really great life, and it's only getting better. I'm not saying this to impress you, but to impress UPON you the possibility that it can get better. No matter how bad it is right now.
Honestly. I've been to where bad is a lot over the years, and this isn't it. I have strong relationships with people all over the world, I have love, joy, passion, work that fulfills me and I have made excellent strides in dealing with my emotional backlog.
I'm much less anxious, much more optimistic than I've ever been, and life looks really great as I enter my 30's. I am more connected with myself and others than I ever thought possible. It's outrageous sometimes and makes me excited to be alive.
I'm confident I can help you do the same, as I've done for many of my clients, friends, colleagues and family members.
You don't have to take it from me though, check this link here for some of their experiences, in their own words.
No matter how you deal with trauma, or your emotions, everyone gets into a funk sometimes. It doesn't have to be a big thing, and it's really easy to fix, if you know the right tools.
I call it my emotional toolkit. I use it daily to maintain a positive, resourceful state and stay as happy and productive as possible, without having to rely on any chemicals or food to make me feel good. I've been sharing bits and pieces around on different podcasts, videos and posts, but I really want a solid resource that anyone can go check out and put into their routine immediately to that will allow them to get some of the same results.
Some of these hacks can make you feel better immediately, some in mere minutes. Some take a bit longer to feel the effects. Over time, they compound and you'll begin to feel better, more consistently, than you've ever felt. You'll even begin to be able to shift your emotional state immediately.
The cumulative effect is nothing short of miraculous.
To help others do the same, I'm creating a Morning Ritual Blueprint and Emotional State Management Toolkit for the website.
The idea would be to have a single document and possibly some videos that you could refer to whenever you're feeling off, funky, hungover, depressed, sad, anxious, unmotivated or frustrated.
Your help would be greatly appreciated. I've created a quick survey that will only take a minute or two to fill out. I would love to have your insights so that I can make this as useful as possible.
Thank you, and be well my friends.